I'm leaving your town, again.

'Cause we hate small talks.

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:21:19 GMT

Today, i feel genuinely happy.
I like the feeling of dangling my feet in mid-air, talking about random stuff that pops into my mind and comfortable silence once in awhile.
Thank you, Friend.

Will be fine, all these will be just fine.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:01:07 GMT

It's time to stop thinking about what might have been.
I have been a total emotional trash bag for the past year.
I am done with feeling like crap.
I will be better, much better than i was before.

I'm keeping quiet but i'm screaming your name in my mind.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:01:35 GMT

You sneaked pass me, way quieter and faster than how time flew by.
I always wondered how we just drifted apart.
I walked pass the same route we took to timbre the first time we met and i thought to myself,
'Would it be out of line to say i miss you now?'

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:30:44 GMT

It's been a while since i've been here.
Sounds strange to call this a place but it has given me much solitude and space needed.

Nothing's going right, as usual.
I may be pessimistic about everything but i am honest about them too.

I realised i have no one,
I am but an option to everyone.
Sometimes i feel like i am an option to myself too.

Nothing's beautiful, not now.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:25:59 GMT

This is not real, everything.
I will wake up tomorrow and all these unpleasant things will vanish.
Yes, they will.

Too late.

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:56:50 GMT

I wish i wish,
That i had loved you then,
And not now.

This has been running through my mind for days.

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:57:43 GMT

" I don't want to get used to having guys come and go,
I don't want to wake up one morning and realise i had forgotten how to love and be loved."

Go fuck yourself in the mirror.

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:29:31 GMT

I can't believe you're coming back to fuck my life up.
There's a reason why i decided to end the relationship back then.
Please stop making yourself think we still have anything left.
Honestly, we never really had anything at all to begin with.
So please, take this as a plea and just disappear.

oh what a life you're living.

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:12:50 GMT

There are some things that i hate to admit.
Like how alcohol do make me a happier person (extremely happy in fact, minus beer belly of course)
Like how much i love to eat even though i constantly force myself to go on a diet.
Like how much i love little kids even though i wouldn't wanna see one coming out from my vagina.
Like how much i wish this world was perfect even though i've seen how ugly it really is.
Like how much i miss someone even though he has torn my heart into pieces and trampled on it.
Like how it's so hard to feel happy for someone you love, to be with someone else.

These are, like i said, just some of it.
I'm sure you have some too,
But you really just hate to admit it.

Finally, it's clear.

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:37:21 GMT

I'm always gonna be the friend, nothing more.
And i think for now,
I really only want/need a friend, nothing more.

Too close.

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:48:37 GMT

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry i still think about you.

I can't stand having you so close,
So within reach.
Not anymore.

I feel like fucking crap when i can't stop caring about you.

everything.

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:12:50 GMT

Change, changing, changed.

True.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:00:41 GMT

Thank you my lovely Loo Huiling.
A simple 'love you' when you see my depressing posts means a lot to me.
It's been a long while since i've seen you, hope you're doing fine (:
I miss your laughter.

I still miss that sweet scent on you that tastes so much like sin.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:11:29 GMT

Finally, the fact that P. has found that beautiful person in his life sank in.
And so has the fact that i pushed T. away.
I'm sorry if i led you on,
I'm telling you exactly how i feel.
Hate me, hate me for your own good.

I sat by the roadside, still on my skates and started sobbing like a child.
How silly i must have looked.
I said i'm alright, because honestly there's nothing anyone can do to make things better.

Of course i'm happy for you, 'cause you finally put your past behind.
I'm just not happy for myself because now it is totally clear that,
We have/had nothing, nothing at all.
It seems like yesterday, those times when we were so close.
When we were swimming in the sea and talking nonsense,
When you'll put your hands on my back to direct me in crowded places,
When you'll look at my phone when i'm texting,
When you'll wipe the water droplets off my face,
When you'll call me baby and tell me you love me everyday,
When i'll lay my head on your lap during work,
When i'll travel all the way to town to accompany you for breaks without fail,
When i'll run all over town to find that pair of shoes you want,
When i'll do anything for that smile.
All these seems so unreal now.

I'd still do anything for that smile,
Which is i why i told you things are cool between us,
And i pretend that i'm totally and completely over you.
But it's been months and i still miss that person that was once so dear to me.
I hate it when we're alone in the familiar place again, 'cause i'll have to force myself to hold back all my feelings for you.
I wish i could hold you like before but no, not anymore.
You are like summer romance,
Filled with love and passion but vanishes as soon as the season ends.

Sometimes i still wished i hadn't said it all, so maybe things wouldn't have changed.

I'm writing all these out so maybe it'll be easier to pull all thoughts of you out of my head.
Just like how the 'Delete' button works.

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:06:52 GMT

Woke up this morning,
Shaking with the fear of not being able to find love, ever again.

Whatever happened.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:30:47 GMT

It's like overnight, everything changed.
They came when they needed someone,
Now that things are holding up a little better,
They leave.
Maybe there were misunderstandings that no one bothered to clear up.
But i don't fucking care anymore.
'Cause it's gonna happen over and over again.
Just let it be,
Let it be.

And it was all bad.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:11:47 GMT

Most people's first would be unforgettable
Mine was the second.
But if only i met him earlier,
Before he met her.

All i want is more of you.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 08:46:43 GMT

There's water, should i sink or should i dive?

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 08:46:31 GMT

I guess big hearts are for breaking.

the city's getting smaller and i don't know where to go.

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:56:37 GMT

You should never ever think you know where someone else' heart lies.
It's not beating inside of you after all.

i know now.

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 18:21:29 GMT

And my heart aches for you.
Please be alright.

But i couldn't make you see it.

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:46:52 GMT

I'm hanging on to every word you say.
And even if you don't wanna speaking tonight,
That's alright with me.
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside your door and listen to you breathing,
That's where i wanna be.

It's in you.

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:37:10 GMT

Don't let your mind get weary,
Don't let your heart get heavy,
Don't let your soul get lonely.
Inside you, there's a strength that lies.

Head broke, Heart sore.

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 08:20:39 GMT

I never understood before,
And i still don't.

Listen.

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:40:59 GMT

Thought about the conversation M. and i had quite awhile back.
I should've have listen to him,
To not make myself fall someone who's only capable of breaking my heart.
But i did,
And like he said,
I'll take a very long to time to get over it.
Still trying to.